If our time in isolation has made one thing clear, it’s that living in uncertainty – a collective uncertainty at that – can have repercussions on our mental health and on our relationships. What can those effects be? How do I nourish my relationships in a positive way?

Living with uncertainty
There are repercussions to living in uncertainty. Chances are that the longer this wave lasts the more people it will affect and the graver the consequences will be. Individually we each have a certain level of tolerance – or intolerance – towards uncertainty. All we can be certain of is that life is uncertain. The past few weeks have certainly reminded us all of that. As humans, we tend to want to either control or avoid unwanted experiences. People who are uneasy with uncertainty will have a tendency to want to avoid or control it by worrying (trying to figure out all the possible scenarios, for example).

As time goes on, those who are comfortable with uncertainty may also start to become uneasy with it and start to worry. Worrying endlessly actually increases uncertainty. Worrying is used as a way to control something that is uncontrollable; therefore, it is a fallacy. The more we worry, the more we create different scenarios in order to gain control over the uncontrollable. This will create links between scenarios that are based purely on speculation rather than reality. So how should we cope with uncertainty? Embrace it!

Embracing uncertainty can allow you to live in the moment and to develop a psychological flexibility. How? We do this by introducing uncertainty into our daily lives. All you need to do is switch it up a little! Eat something new. Go for a walk using a different route. Go to a different grocery store. Read a new book. Sign up for a different type of online class. Sit at a different seat at the table. These are all small but important gestures we can do to embrace uncertainty. We create habits and we are somewhat comforted by them. The changes mentioned above will allow you to safely embrace uncertainty (there is no real danger in switching seats) and allow you to be more flexible and resilient.

Staying connected
Relationships can be tricky - especially in times of uncertainty - because there are multiple players involved with multiple possible reactions and levels of tolerance to uncertainty. The advice above stands. Try something new! Not only will you be exercising your psychological flexibility together, but you will be creating new memories and experiences as well. Try a new meal on the floor of the living room! Chances are that’s the meal you’ll remember. If you aren’t living in the same household, use videoconferencing to have the meal together or call each other up before and cook the same meal.

While we may believe that our options are limited, a whole new world lays ahead of us if we just put forth a little creativity. It doesn’t take a grand gesture to make great memories. All it takes is a little something out of the ordinary. Send your partner(s) a card by mail. Have a movie night. Play board games through your phone or social media. There are endless ways you can stay connected to your loved ones.

Romance
The challenges are different if you have a partner(s) or not, are living with your partner(s) or living apart, have children, one on the way, or none at all. Relationships have different configurations and realities. Let’s address those realities which are common to most.

Date night
This one has definitely changed for everyone. We are limited to the confines of our own homes and there may be privacy issues if we do not live alone. Creativity is very important here. Focus on what you do have to make things special. Go for dinner at your local backyard eatery. Go for a drink with a first date on your respective balconies (using technology). All you need is imagination and sometimes technology.

Communication and conflict resolution
With uncertainty comes higher levels of stress. Increased stress can lead to more conflicts. Stress can make someone impatient, have more disturbed sleep patterns, increase feelings of anxiety and depression and a general feeling of being overwhelmed or even numbness. All this can make tensions rise and are ripe for conflicts to appear. What can you do? Work on reducing individual stress levels. Do things that relax you and bring your stress levels down. Take a bath. Read a book. Go for a jog. By doing small things to keep you in a better state of mind, you will be more open and receptive to those around you.

Improve communication. Communication is key to most interactions. Learn to be concise and tell those around you what you need and be mindful of them and their needs. If you are feeling overwhelmed and are starting to get impatient by your partner’s questions, for example, let them know you are stressed and feeling overwhelmed. Also let them know you would like 15 minutes of alone time and that you’ll answer their questions later. This way, both your needs are fulfilled in a productive manner and you have, more likely than not, avoided a fight.

There are a multitude of emotions we can feel during this period. Our emotions are always valid. What’s important to remember is to seek support and help if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Speak to a loved one. Speak with a professional.

If you are living with domestic violence contact SOS violence conjugale 1-800-363-9010 or http;//www.sosviolenceconjugale.ca . If you are in immediate danger dial 911.